REM is Stuck in My Head

That's great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes,
an aeroplane - Lenny Bruce is not afraid.
Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn,
world serves its own needs, dummy serve your own needs.
Feed it off an aux speak,, grunt, no, strength,
The ladder starts to clatter with fear fight down height.
Wire in a fire, representing seven games, a government for hire and a combat site.
Left of west and coming in a hurry with the furies breathing down your neck.
Team by team reporters baffled, trumped, tethered cropped.
Look at that low playing!
Fine, then.
Uh oh, overflow, population, common food, but it'll do.
Save yourself, serve yourself. World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed dummy with the rapture and the revered and the right - right.
You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, bright light, feeling pretty psyched.

It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

Since it’s been stuck in my head I thought I’d share. Wasn’t that nice of me?


I know, I’ve been slacking on the blogging. My time in game has been less chaotic than usual so there wasn’t really much to bitch about and considering most of my posts are venting that doesn’t leave me with much fodder! I’ve been doing oodles of research on professions, classes, and whatnot on various blogs and forums but they put it all together much better than I would so more reading less writing these days. (Special shout outs to El's Extreme Anglin' and Crafter’s Tome!) Oh, and I read The Shattering and then proceeded to nag my guildies until they either read it or begged me to stop.

I’ve also been preparing my toons and my guild for Cataclysm. You know, stocking up on things we might need; stocking up on things that will be ridiculously priced before too long to sell in Cata to replenish the soon-to-depleted gbank resources; wrapping up achievements and so on. We also figured out who the crafters are for each profession that will get the first mats, biggest influx of gold to level them, and have the stamina to be NEEDED constantly once they have them up there.

Hard to believe that I’ve been 80 for two years. Let’s see…I got The Immortal title and the drake from Naxx, cleared Ulduar including Algalon and got the drake from that, cleared ICC and, yes, got the drake from that, started a raiding guild and made it to the top on the server, farmed more rep then I care to remember, leveled 6 other 80s and countless toons that may or may not survive (I hate playing melee classes!), and spent tons of time doing any number of silly, pointless, goofy, things with guildies just because I like them (GEORGIA!!!). Good times.

The one achievement we are still actively working on is getting the Lich King down on hard mode. We are close, so very close, but we need more concentrated time instead of an hour here and there. When he dies on hard mode I think I will really feel like I’ve done everything I set out to do in Wrath. Or at least everything I planned once I actually figured out what it was I wanted to do in Wrath. LOL.

I think I’m set.

Happy End of the World!

Stupid Awards of the Week

The Huntards Tranq? Award of the Week goes to…

/drumroll

Our dear little huntard, who after a few wipes due to the off tank dying on heroic Lich King to shambling horrors, hears me say, “He should have been able to take one of the hits if the other was tranqued and (our hunter) was doing that right…?”
And she responds with silence. Very long silence.



The Oh, The Ready Check was for Real? Award of the Week goes to…

/drumroll

Same huntard, same fight, same phase. Ready check green, tank says, “Board’s green, starting it.”, raiders started calling positions and events and I hear….

“(The hunter) is AFK.”

In a Shadow Trap of course.

Then we hear in vent, “Oh, we were ready? I tabbed out…I thought someone was going /afk.”

You. Hit. Yes. To. The. Ready Check! /facepalm



The WTS Man Candy for Raid Spot Award of the Week goes to…

/drumroll

The mage who included a picture of himself (is it really? Lol) clad only in a towel with his application to the guild. We usually just ask for WWS or raid history… I wonder what he would post for epics….

I Miss Mortigan the Lock

Tonight in raid several things (which will be explained in the Stupid Awards) happened that made me really miss Mortigan the Lock's posts. For those of you who remember him you will appreciate this and those of you who don't definately need to read this.

In Mortigan's words, with full credit to him, here it is:


WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 21, 2009
How to raid ANYTHING. By Mortigan the Lock.

I find it terribly hard to remember all the nuances of each boss fight. Sorry, but I'm just not hard-core enough to memorize who casts what, and I really don't care if Pixie McNixie in the bottom of some hole is planning to fear me, sheep me, or chop me in half with a big heavy axe. Why? Because overall things are pretty much the same from one boss to the next, so I figured I could come up with a single set of rules on how to raid ANYTHING. I've appropriately named these rules "A Single Set of Rules on How to Raid ANYTHING."

Getting Ready:

Many people go to YouTube and watch Tankspot videos to familiarize themselves with the fights. This is a waste of time, because all you really need are my simple rules. Not 100% sure? Here are some additional reasons for skipping the videos:

1. Those people in the videos are ELITE WIZARDS and your raid team is not going to do anywhere near as well as them. It's like watching an Olympic gold medalist do the ski jump and then trying it yourself. Forget about it.

2. There are less steps to preparing your taxes than there are to fights like Freya. Watching Tankspot explain it on YouTube will only give you a headache. Your guild is going to wipe on it anyway, so no need to give yourself a migraine. Skip the video and use my rules below!

Let's Raid!

Ok, so here is my Single Set Of Rules On How To Raid ANYTHING:

1. DO NOT stand in anything that wasn't there before the fight started, if it visually looks dangerous. This includes fire, black steaming circles of nastiness, green slimy stuff, purple ooze, etc. If you are not sure, stand in it for a second and see if your health goes down. If it does, MOVE.

2. DEFINITELY DO stand in anything that wasn't there before the fight started, if it visually looks beneficial. This includes pleasant rays of fairy moonlight, air with lightning bug / glittery things in it, shiny sparkly spots on the floor, or anything else that a 3 year old girl might want to color. If you are not sure, stand in it for a second. If nothing bad happens, definitely keep standing it because it MUST be doing something good.

3. Do the following based on your function:

Tank: Attack the boss with everything you got. Keep doing this and don't stop until your healer drags you away screaming at you, "STOP! STOP! HE'S DEAD ALREADY!"

Heal: Keep healing until everyone is either dead and blaming you, or the boss is dead. In the latter case, it is your job to drag the tank away from the bloody corpse.

DPS: Do the same as the tank, but wait a fraction of a second before doing so. This way, if you get aggro, you can blame the Tank. Otherwise, he will blame you. That fraction of a second makes all the difference on who gets blamed for the wipe. Use it wisely. Now this next part is important: If adds arrive, you need to make a visual check of how dangerous they look. If they look like they can be ignored, stay on the boss. If they look really nasty, switch to the add. Simple! Or you can always fall back on the "watch what everyone else is doing and copy them" strategy, but I'm training you to be a trailblazer, so get in there and blaze that trail!

Off Tank: You're on the adds. Someday, if you ever become cool enough or geared enough, the guild might let you be a REAL tank. But probably not anytime soon. So stick to adds. And if you run like a madman all over the map with a trail of adds behind you, creating a hellish conga-line of death, all the DPSers are going to HATE YOU. So keep your butt in one spot, take your beating, and suck it up.

4. DO NOT stand in a Boss' AOE. The crap raining down on your head should be an obvious sign that it's time to pack up and move.

5. Should a boss fight require you to operate some sort of vehicle, land mount, or drake, randomly mash buttons as fast as the cool-downs allow. Generally, Button 1 is the biggie one to mash, so mash it more than the others. No one's really going to notice if you did well or not, so just mash, mash, mash! You're a pro!

6. If you get aggro, run TOWARD your teammates, not away from them. It's the surest way to get rid of that unwanted boss who's taken serious notice of you. Ideally, run toward (and right through) a mage. Mages are a big, big help with getting rid of aggro. If you're cool enough to be a warlock like me, you can even strategically position yourself right next to a mage throughout the fight, and Soulshatter as needed. Be sure to turn toward the mage when Soulshattering, so that you can watch the look on his face when the boss 1-shots him. If you're a mage, disregard everything I've just said, and take one for the team.

7. The laws of the universe that govern comic books, video games, and science fiction in general require that twins ALWAYS have some sort of symbiotic relationship, and a special power will CERTAINLY exist between them. Therefore, any time there are twin bosses (or even twin adds if they're extremely dangerous looking), they MUST be killed simultaneously. Very bad things happen when one twin witnesses the death of the other. Heed my warning, and kill any and all twins at the same time. Further, they cannot be allowed to touch each other or send each other any kind of glowing orb, ray beam, soothing rainbow, etc. You don't want the wonder-twins activating ANYTHING. So keep them apart, kill them apart, and do it at the same time.

If you follow these simple rules, you're sure to be a success at your next raid. I advise you to print this out and keep it handy. Review it during the boring buff periods before raiding, or when the tank if off in Dalaran begging for another healer. And be sure to stop back by and let me know how it went! Happy raiding!
Your buddy,

Mortigan the Lock

A Few Words on the 100 Mounts...

Lark finally (FINALLY) finished the grind to get 100 mounts so she can now ride around on the very pretty dragonhawk!

I’d to say a few words to my favorite rogue, thank for killing things quickly every day so I didn’t have to grind out the Argent Tournament dailies alone. And thank you for your quick engineering in Ulduar so the chopper was a bit less expensive.

To the TBC factions: I never want to see you again. That’s right Skyguard with your evil bird people in Terrokar, don’t call and don’t write. You too Kuranai and Halaa with your ogres and tinkerers and talbuks in Nagrand, we are through. I wish you luck in finding another sucker who would put up with hours and hours of farming for things that you probably don’t even use. No more powders and beads and scrolls from me. You are on your own. In the future I will go out of my way to avoid your territories when leveling alts…now stop texting and asking me when I’m coming back to see you. We are through, move on.

And, finally, to the Sea Turtle: FUCK YOU!!! I’ve fished 11490 things from pools in Northrend and you just couldn’t drop once??? What’s up with that? You dropped for people without maxxed fishing, you dropped for people who had only fished a few times, you dropped more than once for others!!! Stupid turtle…I hate you.*

So, now I just need to get my group back into Ulduar so we can do one more achievement and get our Ulduar drakes. (Hint: swirly, green clouds = bad)

With the months of grinding for my pretty bird done I’ve had time to spend on other things like my Holy Pally on another server who I got to Northrend this week. She spends a lot of time in BGs and ,whatever they say about holy paladins right now, she rocks! Call me a masochist if you like but she’s been holy with very few moments of weakness from the start and it’s nice that we can actually kill things a little faster now. I’ve tried ret a few times at different levels but just can’t seem to get the hang of it. I think it’s a basic resentment that as melee you have to chase crap around to hit it. She will go tanky with her duel spec on occasion when the series of DK tanks queuing for randoms becomes too painful but she really is a healer at heart.

So now on to basic guild maintenance things like cleaning the bank out, trying to figure out what we’re missing for balanced raiding in Cata, and hitting /love everytime I come across a critter in case it’s one of the ones I’m missing.


*I still want you...please drop!

Stupid Awards of the Week

The But There’s a Tree for It Award of the Week goes to…

/drumroll

The mage who informed me that Frost is a viable raiding spec.
He went fire again very shortly after that statement.


The Nerd Raging Loot Whore Award of the Week goes to…

/drumroll

The ret pally who showed up to raid in holy gear/spec and then decided to heal without telling me despite the fact that he was A. in the DPS group, B. not listed when I named the healers for the night, C. not needed as a healer, and D. had never healed in any raid I’d ever run and given his lackluster performance as DPS would not have been asked to heal. He then proceeded to roll on a healing ring against MS healers and nerd rage when he won the roll and didn’t get the ring….because it was his OS. He stated that he didn’t need anything for his ret set and that’s why he was healing - for the gear. I replaced him and he /gquit. I should have kicked him one of the many other times he showed up on the Stupid Awards. /Sigh.


The What’s Aggro? Award of the Week goes to…

/drumroll

The lock that died. That died a lot. The lock who died a lot because he didn’t listen to the tank clarify the aggro changes. (**edit: I was just reminded this need to be co-awarded to a certain chicken!)


The Hiding from the GM Award of the Week goes to…

/drumroll

The priest who has not logged on his toons since I told him I wanted to speak with him. I guess he knows he’s in trouble...like I’m going to forget if he hides for a few days. Pfft.


The Illiteracy Sucks Award of the Week goes to…

/drumroll

Everyone who whispered me, cornered me in vent, or sent me ingame mail asking what our plans were for Cataclysm after the post went up on our forums, my blog, and was the sole subject of the guild’s message of the day. You make me want to redirect all my energy into reading programs for nerds.


The Illiteracy Sucks MOAR Award of the Week goes to…

/drumroll

Everyone who did not do their homework on what the patch did and now has stupid questions they should know the answer to and proceeds to announce their slackiness to the world in gchat and trade chat.

The End of an Era

Well, we finally called an end to progression raiding today. Attendance was getting worse and focus even flakier. I'm mostly feeling like the elephant that has been sitting on my head has moved. And a little bit nostalgic. But anyways, this is what was posted tonight on our guild forum. Bring on the change!


Dear Heroic,

With an official release date of December 7 it is time to get organized for Cataclysm!

It’s been a great time in Wrath and I’m really proud of what we’ve done. We went from nothing on the server to number one and you should all be proud of that. We will be taking the best of what we learned and improving on it in Cataclysm and I can’t wait to see what we can do!

Some folks left to pursue other options and we were fully aware that our partnership with the Aberration raiders was for Wrath content. We wish them all the best and they left on good terms and we will not tolerate bashing of them in trade chat or the forums.

Some more of you I know are leaving to pursue other opportunities, some of you I have spoken with and know you are staying, and there are a whole lot of you that I would like to know about as soon as possible.

If you are unsure of your position in Heroic as we transition please don’t hesitate to talk to me. Not everyone who was here for Wrath will be here for Cataclysm. It’s very important that we have a team that is committed to raiding and to the guild and its members. We most definitely wanting the best fit as well as the best raiders. The expectation for our members will be rapid leveling of your main character and the toon’s professions so we can dive right into the new raid content. It is imperative that you do thorough research on your new abilities and whatnot so you are an expert on your toon as quickly as possible.


Here’s what you need to know from us:

• We will be reducing the size of the guild to better focus on 2 initial 10 man raiding teams. That means a guild of about 25-30 raiders with a very, very small amount of non-raiding friends. This will allow us to have flexibility with raid schedules and find the best combinations of classes, specs and personalities. This will also allow us to join the teams together to complete 25 man content if and when we choose to. The main focus will be on 10s at first unquestionably.

• We will be raiding ICC on a more casual basis up until Cata hits but raids will be on the calendar if I am running them and may not always be Tues/Wed…feel free to start your own - yes, I know you want your mounts! When patch 4.0.1 drops we will be limited to either 10 OR 25 per week and it will become nearly impossible to raid that content as a guild. We will make every attempt to finish Ulduar 25 for those mounts and to get into ToGC at least once if that is what you all want to do. Please remember, even if you don’t care about the mounts or achievements your guildies do and they need your help.

• For Cata, we are prepared to help level professions and get every raider geared as quickly as possible. The guild has gold and will spend it to help make that happen! On that note, the bank access has been reduced and guild repairs will be open only for limited times until we sort out exactly what we are doing and implement it.


What we need to know from you:

• Are you interested in staying in Heroic?

• If you are interested in staying are you changing mains or main specs?

• Is there anything you want to see done differently in the guild when we move into the new content?

• Is there anything left in Wrath that is going away that you would like to accomplish that you need assistance with? (No, I will not buy you a chopper.)

We are excited about the new content and look forward to raiding with many of you in December! For those that leave us we wish you the best.


Love,

Lark

Yay for a Cata Date!

Well, finally have the date for release! Now my OCD can fully kick in with my anal retentive brain and I can finally PLAN!

Bring on the guild overhaul...well sort of. LOL

OMG must get Ulduar mounts now!

I'll fill you in with more soon!