10 Ways to Make Your Raid Leader Crazy

1. You say, “That’s what she said!” at least once a raid. It’s old and tired and needs to be forgotten.

2. The tank is sweating blood trying to hold aggro shouting, “WTF just happened?!” as the adds eat faces off the healers and someone points to your Army of the Dead. Again.

3. The Raid Leader spends 10 minutes going over a boss fight and answering questions, runs a ready check, you show up AFK and then ask what the assignments were when you get back from getting a beer.

4. You click “Yes” to a ready check and then scream for buffs as the tank calls, “Puuuuullllling!”

5. You wait for a rez on a wipe instead of running back...every time until you are threatened with removal. And then you always the last one back.

6. You don’t switch targets. Despite the fact that the fight hinges on every freaking DPS changing targets to get it down. And then bitch that we wiped again.

7. You whisper the GM, raid leader, tank in the middle of a raid to ask if you can buy the Borean Leather (or whatever it is) out of the guild bank. Or something else equally nonessential to the raid. Even though the person you’re whispering has DND up.

8. You whisper the RL on the pull that this is your last try tonight. Give notice if you have to leave early you noobs!

9. You don’t do your research on the boss...and then get bitchy when the rest of the raiders who did call you out on it. Especially when /gchat has been flowing with repeated comments to DO YOUR FUCKING HOMEWORK SINCE THERE ARE LIMITED ATTEMPTS!!

10. You have something to say about everything. Even if what you have to say has nothing to do with the fight or the raid. Even if you’ve be told to STFU seven times already today. Even though half the raiders have you on mute in vent. We know you love the sound of your own voice...just don’t press the PTT button and keep it in your living room.

Shiny!

Five players walk in to a dungeon through the LFG tool, let’s say it is AN, and things go failrly smoothly. The usual greens drops and people are rolling for disenchant, trash is dying, it seems like it will be a fairly smooth run.....

And then something new pops up in the loot roll window.

It’s new...it’s shiny...it’s a Pot O’ Gold, it can be used as an off-hand for +23 luck and +12 intellect or it can be vendored for 15,000 gold.

What’s a dungeon group to do?

There’s a moment before people roll where the group could have a discussion about whether to Need or Greed. They could discuss the stats and the vendor value. They could reach an agreement together. They don’t have that discussion.

Here’s what happened:

One passed - no one is clear why but I’m sure when he got home and looked around his shack on the wrong side of Redridge he kicked himself.

Four rolled Need.

A warrior wins the roll and they finish the dungeon.

* * *

Later the same day the warrior’s GM gets a series of tells from a mage who was in the group accusing the warrior of ninjaing the Pot O’ Gold. He complains that because warriors do not need +12 intell he should have passed. The GM talks to the mage about the value of the object and the fact that it wasn’t a case where everyone Greeded and the warrior waited until they were done to roll Need - no indeed! 4/5 Needed!

The mage continues to use the word “ninja” and won’t leave it alone. The GM then makes a discreet call and the mage’s body is later found rotting in Un Goro. The general theory is he was farming for little dinosaur pets and took on more than he could handle. He is not missed much. The GM is tired of stupid whispers.

* * *

True story. Almost. Substitute Battered Hilt for Pot O’ Gold and Shaman for Warrior and you’ve about got the picture. This little mage was very upset about the “ninjaing”. Unfortunately for him it really just came across as being a sore loser in a fair roll. I’m sure there are people out there who say that since there was only a slim chance the Shammie would want the weapon he should have passed or Greeded...I’m going to guess those are the same people who have lost a roll on it.

In my opinion the ridiculous value of the Battered Hilt as something of a vanity weapon (not to say the stats aren’t nice but come on...it’s more about bragging rights) that will be quickly replaced makes it fair game for anyone in the dungeon. Honestly, if I was in a random group and it dropped I would try to have a quick conversation and encourage everyone to Need on it. If there was a mix of Need/Greed I would probably Need myself. Lark could use weapon - use as in equip and have appropriate stats not use as in OMG that’s an upgrade! - but the 15k would go a long ways towards repairs for progression wipes and my little priest would finally have epic flying.

A (Sort Of) Brief History....Zzzzzzz......

One of the few guildies who read this blog asked me when I was going to write about the madness in the guild lately but I realized though that in order to do that right I needed to back up a few steps and provide some history...I'll try to keep it brief and entertaining!

Lark leveled as a Holy Paladin (God help me I had no idea what I was doing - serious noob). She was my first toon and I thought that playing a toon that could wear plate, heal, and use all kinds of weapons was cool. What did I know? If I had known before about level 40 how hard it was to level a holy pally I probably would have rolled a hunter for the cute pet and this would be a very different story. At about level 60 I discovered tanking (once I learned what the word "tank" meant) and never looked back. That was over two years ago.

I had to fight my way up in the tanking ranks in TBC, when paladins were just barely starting to be credible, against the established warriors of the world. (To this day I have to say, Mount Hyjal, I luv you!)

Through 2+ years of tanking I've had the opportunity to experience a variety of guilds. New ones just trying to start content that dropped shiny purples all the way to the number one guild on a former server (Yay for The Immortal title!) and took a lot of the things I loved about those guilds and the knowledge of what I really didn't love and started, Heroic, the guild I have now.

Heroic is my baby. It didn't start with any kind of influx of friends transferring from another server or from a mass exodus from a former guild on the current server but was created one individual at a time. Shortly after forming we partnered with another guild to do 25 man content and wound up absorbing many of their members when their GM decided to become our Princess. That gave us the boost we needed to step into 25 mans on our own. We started in Naxx content and have progressed rapidly to one of the top guilds on the server (where we get to cheerfully beat our heads against ICC). I'm proud of what the team has achieved and am so grateful to the guildies that have stuck around through the rough patches.

We do things a little differently than many other raiding guilds. Our two guild rules are No Drama and No Raid Nazis.

As we tell all candidates in their interview to join us, we are very protective of our guild's reputation and No Drama means not in /gchat, raids, vent, trade chat, etc. As a whole, we've stuck to this pretty well and only had to provide a few people with opportunity to find a new home. The drama is largely limited to officer chat feuds and a love/hate relationship between the Princess and me. And purple pixel drama...but that's another post!

No Raid Nazis means we do not tell people they "fail", no one in the raid is allowed to belittle or demean people in raids, and performance issues are handled privately. This is not to say to we don't give each other tons of shit, tease the hunter who auto attacks a boss while we are buffing (you know who you are), and never let the tank who pulled the Twins in TOC while still specced holy forget it (no, really, I would NEVER do anything that silly...*cough*) but it's all in fun.

Somehow we've managed to (mostly) stick to these rules and still kill bosses! Shocking! I know!

TLDR: I'm an experienced tank and a noob GM doing my damnedest to keep 24 other people motivated, focused and out of the f*ing fires while trying to keep either me from killing the Princess or the Princess from killing me.


Lark

OMG How Hard Is It?!?!

Really, if it lights you on fire stay out of it.

If it gives you a lovely god-like buff get into it.

If it looks like the person next to you has eaten 14 day old shrimp and is projectile vomiting then move away!

Seriously, guildies, how hard is it to be where you are supposed to be when you are supposed to be there? And, if you can drop the evil-whatever-it-is by ice-blocking, cloaking, bubbling but you KNOW deep in your heart that it will kill the healer next to you....why do you do it?

Rotfacefesterfuck is a prime example (and yes, I know I've merged the two into one....it doesn't matter for this conversation) of being where you need to be and doing what you need to do when you need to do it....what's the term I'm looking for...oh yeah, raid awareness!

If 24 other lives (and your GM's sanity) depend on you either running in, running out, or staying put why not just do it and quit telling me that it was the tank-mom-healer-lag-dog-GF/BF-neighbor-imp that lives under you desk's fault? Grow a pair, own up if you failed and do better! Really, these new ICC bosses should be dead by now and we should be tormenting ourselves with the rest of the high end guilds on the Professor by now. After analyzing what happened it boils down to one simple thing (and no it's not gear) and that is raid awareness.

Raid awareness is why Yogg still lives and why we spend very little time beating out heads against the TOC 25 hard modes. Raid awareness is why we actually, and embarassingly, wiped on Anub 25 regular today. Raid awareness is what keeps me up nights, on my alts, and eating way too many Hot Tamales. I am, quite frankly, lacking faith. I need to see that the same people that can one-shot damn near anything when they puts their minds to it can all come in in the same frame of mind at least four nights a week. Hell, I'd settle for three nights a week on progression content and let you wipe your faces off screwing around on TOC if that's what it took (although, I'd probably bring an alt or find a reason to sit out for that).

The DPS is there. The heals are there. The tanks are there. Now we just need to figure out which pocket you left your raid awareness in....

A Fairy Tale (no, not that kind of fairy, Priestest)

Once upon a time, in a land not so far away but very much more violent, a paladin decided to re-roll a mage. This paladin had the reputation of being quite good at tanking but had leveled many toons to 80 on PVE servers and was bored and wanted a new challenge.

So, this paladin decided that rolling a clothie mage on a PVP server was what was missing in her life. Silly, silly paladin. Should have at least considered a Dranei mage for Gift of the Naahru, but no, went with a belf. Silly, silly paladin who never really liked PVP to begin with but blamed it on being Prot. Not actually on the OMG...they're trying to kil...nvm I'm dead and they're camping my corpse...wait did they leave? Let's try a rez and mount really fast...nope they didn't leave life style.

Then, low and behold! Blizzard comes out with the new and improved LFG system! Baby Mage doesn't really need to quest! (Other than the Wrathgate quest chain, because, really that was a primary reason for re-rolling Horde.) But what does Baby Mage find? She may be new at her class and working out a few rotation issues and what not and may be not so sure what to do in certain situations but OMG so many people are totally clueless! Seriously, DPS, wait the 3 seconds it takes your poor tank in greens and a sad mix of blues (which there aren't many of for tanks before 80 and are always rolled on by wanna-be DK tanks) to gain aggro! I see you...you're wearing BOA gear which tells me you have at least a nodding acquaintence with the real world of WoW...so WAIT! Wait for your healer to have mana too! (Mana is the blue bar that looks a lot like your rage and rune bars but it's totally freaking different in that WATER fixes it and it's the reason you live or die in many cases!) Let's be clear, I've aready seen the first forum posts from LFG-unsatisfied customers about crap runs...do you really want to be called out for bad - but fixable - behavior this early in your little alts career? I didn't think so.

Here was the big eye-opening, adventurous thing about rolling on a PVP server...the characters your level just want to quest and be done with it. They don't hurt you. You don't hurt them. It's the characters 12 levels below you that attack you, and ,of course, you kill them, that go for level 80 back ups to come back and haunt you. It frankly amazes me at times how many level 80s have nothing better to do than stalk a level 73 mage who just wants the damn quest drop so she can go back to Dalaran and queue up for the daily BG...and during the 2 hours it takes to do that level her enchanting and tailoring.

I seriously need to join a guild on this little Baby Mage but the one I tried a few levels ago never responded to "Hiya", "Is anyone doing ________ quest?", or "Does anyone need help with anything?" I mean not one response in days...so I /gquit and figured I was better off talking to myself. I'm much more entertaining. : )

Happy errr....Belated New Years!

So, yes, we cleared the first wing of ICC, got through the holidays, and now we have three new bosses to contend with. (And, let me just say, Blizzard, REALLY?!?!? You're nerfing Deathwhisper NOW???!! That totally sucks for those of us who actually got it. : ( )

We blew through the first wing of ICC tonight and got in a few attempts at Festergut which wasn't bad....particularly considering we had a drunk shadow priest talking in vent and an officer who nerd-rage quit in the middle of the run.


So here's my rant for the week: Seriously, if you are an officer in a guild do you not owe them the courtesy of telling them you are not happy with the way things are going BEFORE you nerd-rage quit in the middle of raid!?!?


This same (former) officer whispered me once he quit and accused me of not giving him loot...let me be clear, our loot policies are posted on the website and discussed indepth in every interview. When he nerd-rage quit it was over our yet undecided decision about what to do with Shadowfrost Shards (which no one is sure drops for one on the quest or all) and a pair of legs that another ranking member won. What he fails to realize is, when we said he left for "loot reasons", the vast majority of the people said, "But, wait! He got the trinket off of Sarthang 25 last week!"


This former officer has been one of those people who persist in seeing the negative and feeding it week over week. Was I surprised that he g-quit, not really, was I surprised that he quit without trying to make my life miserable, yes.


One of the accusations he made to me in whispers once he quit was that I am a control-freak. Well, yeah, not gonna argue there....I run a successful raiding guild on a server that doesn't cater to that. I have a few great officers who will help me with the day-to-day and other things like recruiting but a few other officers who are here less than I would like. Mostly, in a guild like this, on a server like this, someone has to be "the boss" and it has to be me. I started it so I signed up willingly....despite the days when I wonder what the hell I was thinking.


I'm finding that there is no surer way to create an emo-raider then to make them an officer....I'd love to hear other opinions! The reality is, we raid to progress, therefore we gear to progress, therefore we gear the raiders we need to gear in order to progess...any questions?


And, when I'm done complaining about nerd-raging, emo-quitting officers I may move on to either "Raiding and the Couple: Why Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, and Raiding Couples Are from Hell!" or have you met Mr. Wow? The one who knows everything about everything and absolutely knows more than you do about whatever it is you are talking about?